Peace of the Whole is now SPIRAL BOUND
To Everything There Is a Season--Turn! Turn! Turn!
To be honest, I thought about not writing here again.
I started this Substack back at the start of 2023 when I felt very stuck and directionless. Well, I had a direction in mind but I seemed incapable of moving towards it. I thought maybe I would write about things and that would help in the meantime, until I could get going on my dreams and goals. And in a sense I suppose it did help, though things didn’t go as I thought they would. As much as I’ve written about my skepticism of the internet and Substack specifically, it has brought me many things—most importantly, some very incredible friends.
My life completely changed this fall, which was a process that took up the entire summer. Hence, no essays. The short story of it is that I moved to Maine with my husband and cats—a longtime dream we thought was years away still. But somehow we made it happen. We are still pinching ourselves daily.
This Substack—Peace of the Whole—has been nagging at me since before we even got here. When we move, I told myself, I’ll start that darn thing up again. I’ll get really serious about it. I’ll make it a big thing, maybe finally make a bunch of money from it, or try to get a book deal… When we did move, I spent several weeks trying to create grand plans for a new version of this Substack. Nothing felt right. So much friction. I wondered if maybe I should just shut it all down, delete everything and not publish on the internet again. Maybe, I started to wonder, maybe it’s unhealthy to write on the internet. It’s giving too much of myself away. It’s useless. It’s shouting into the void. It’s participating in a destructive technology. Maybe I should be a full on Luddite…
But I couldn’t let the idea of it go. Not any particular idea of a theme or direction for this project. No. Just the idea of a PROJECT, of WRITING. I wanted that back in my life.
Because here is the thing: I like writing and being read. I always have. It’s why I started writing in the first place, probably. It’s a form of being listened to, and I’ve long pined for that. It helps me think. I suspect it helps me be a more thoughtful person.
I started this essay before November 5th, 2024, before this past Tuesday. It was a very different essay back then. All of it still rings true, but I’ll save the rest for a different time. Today I have other things to say.
I started a bunch of new essays for this Substack with the thought that I would treat it as exploration and play. That’s what I need and to some degree that’s still what it’ll be. But there is an urgency now. A need to shout. Or to speak and speak and speak, and not hold back the things that I’ve been carrying. To practice deep deep listening, and make space for others to be seen and heard. Those of us dissenting must make ourselves heard now. We must speak up and listen to those speaking as a means of linking arms and carrying on. We must speak up for those who can’t. We must listen for answers from places deeper than human knowing.
I’ve written more in the last few days than I have in probably a year. It has felt better and more effortless to write than it has in a long time. I find I have so much to say and finally the spine to say it. It’s been bottled up and November 5th shook the bottle. I’ve felt a resolve I didn't expect and don’t know where it comes from. I can only figure it is at least in part from writing. I’m curious to find out what the source of it is and where it will take me.
What will I be saying now? Certainly much the same as I have been. I am still me. But there are sides I would like to share now that I haven’t. I have things to heal from and hurt that I’ve witnessed, and I’m tired of keeping quiet about it all. If you want specifics, there is a major research project meets personal story that I have brewing that is about some Christian theological positions that I believe are extremely destructive and need to be reconsidered. They may have even contributed to where we are today in this country. I want to find and practice new ways of being in the world, and do the work to let go of the lessons of disconnection and hatred I was taught growing up. And I think sharing all of that with you might be of use.
It will still be about cycles too, because that’s still something that guides me. Just differently now.
And I needed a new name to mark this change. Peace of the Whole, though I like the pun, feels too serious yet also too loose and light and airy. But I’ve long carried a notebook around with me everywhere and I’m trying to stay grounded in the real world…
So now, it’s SPIRAL BOUND. ꩜
Some things I’ve been holding onto in these times:
This wonderful essay, among many, from
.
“The red squirrel will never stop protecting the pines.” This poem from
.
The bold, brave work of
.
And this quote from Joanna Macy in her book Active Hope:
Active Hope is not wishful thinking.
Active Hope is not waiting to be rescued . . . .
by some savior.
Active Hope is waking up to the beauty of life
on whose behalf we can act.
We belong to this world.
The web of life is calling us forth at this time.
We’ve come a long way and are here to play our part.
With Active Hope we realize that there are adventures in store,
strengths to discover, and comrades to link arms with.
Active Hope is a readiness to discover the strengths
in ourselves and in others;
a readiness to discover the reasons for hope
and the occasions for love.
A readiness to discover the size and strength of our hearts,
our quickness of mind, our steadiness of purpose,
our own authority, our love for life,
the liveliness of our curiosity,
the unsuspected deep well of patience and diligence,
the keenness of our senses, and our capacity to lead.
None of these can be discovered in an armchair or without risk.
You’re an inspiration, Ema. I love this new name and your new approach to your writing practice. There’s so much beautiful energy around you right now, with your fresh start in Maine. I’m glad you are going to be sharing it with us. ❤️
“We must speak up and listen to those speaking as a means of linking arms and carrying on. We must speak up for those who can’t. We must listen for answers from places deeper than human knowing.”
Beautiful. I’m here for all of it. (And I love the name!💞)